Tuesday March 2 Diary (Facing A Potential Future)

I did not sleep well the night before, so when I got up to pee at about 10AM, Shilo offered to drive himself to PT and take Stitch to work. How could I possibly refuse such a great offer?

I woke up about 1:45PM, which was just in time for her Oncology Surgeon's office to call me and inform me that E's CT scan came back and the cancer in her lung they discovered 6 months ago has not grown any. Between us, I'm not sure if that is good or bad. Her dementia is so bad some days that it's difficult to reason or even talk with her about things, and she could live another 20 years with this cancer if it doesn't grow. Understand that I'm not wishing death on her, it's more that if she is bad with the dementia now, what will it be like in another 5-10-20 years? That's kind of scary.

Also, speaking of E, my niece took her to get her first COVID-19 immunization. She texted me later informing me that within 5 minutes of getting the injection, E asked twice why she had a Band-Aid on her arm. Yes, it really is that bad. I know it's not that she is trying to be obnoxious when she repeats herself over and over again because of the dementia, and I rarely say anything about it, and I try to avoid complaining because again, it's not her fault. It does scare me because she's only 13 years older than me, and that could possibly be my future. My niece (who is 13 years younger than me) and I have discussed the future if that happens to her or me. It's just not a pleasant thought. The advantage (if you can call it that) is that we are actively discussing and making plans in the possibility that it happens.

After the call and while I was texting with my niece, I wrote yesterday's diary. I'd like to think I'm getting better about this, but it's too soon to brag yet. By the time Shilo arrived home from PT at around 3, I was almost finished and we watched a bunch of programs that were on the DVR. About 5:30 I asked him what he wanted to do for dinner, and I gave him the choice of broiled steak, or stir fry. He chose beef and pork stir fry. I tried a different method, and it came out really good. I also served it with rice, and I steamed some broccoli for myself. Shilo is not wild about broccoli, so it always makes me happy to eat broccoli because I don't have to share. 

We watched some more programs, and then when I left to pick up Stitch, Shilo said he was going to bed, so I locked the front door when I left. Stitch and myself had a very interesting conversation about his work. Apparently they've been short because people have been sick and on vacation, and also some people got laid off. Fortunately, Stitch is not one of them. I was really tired, so I went straight to bed when I got home, surprising Shilo because he thought I was going to be up late. I slept like crap though but that's normal for me.