Wednesday March 3 (Thunder and Lightening)

 Yes, I went to bed early on Tuesday, and I still managed to sleep an hour, stay awake for 2, and so on.  Not pleasant!  The gardeners were making noise at 7AM, so I gave up, but I must have fallen back asleep, because a bright light outside my bedroom window woke me up around 9. Please note that my bedroom has those "blackout" curtains, because before Shilo had to retire due to his Advanced Metastatic Prostate Cancer,  he worked graves, so having a dark bedroom was a necessity. It was THAT bright! Then a BOOM! so loud that it shook the building, and I could hear car alarms go off. I jumped, and somehow wound up underneath Shilo. Let's just say that this was a first. He held me until the thunder subsided about 30 minutes later. Then he extricated me, and I fell back asleep, until E called me at 11:25 asking for beer and ice cream. "Did I wake you?" she says, completely oblivious to my muttering and whispering.  'Yes, you woke me, you always wake me' I thought, but all I said is, 'Yes, don't worry about it. I'll drop it off later on, will that work?' and I dropped of to sleep again. 

 

My "activity" alarm woke me at 1PM, and I left Shilo in bed, snoring, and I had herbal tea from the refrigerator along with Cheerios (plain, no milk) with freeze dried strawberries. As I was finishing, E called again, asking for beer and ice cream, and I told her she had called me earlier in the morning about it, and that I would be bringing it to her "soon" and I went back to my busy work, which included taking two chickens out of the freezer in anticipation of tomorrow night's dinner. I asked Stitch (it was a day off for him) to come with me to buy ice cream and drop the beer at E's place. She always asks about him, and it's hard to believe it's been over 16 years since we first got together, but here we are. She knows that I'm married to Shilo, and while I haven't exactly brought myself to talk about my polyamory to her, she understands my commitment to Stitch, and that the 3 of us get along well, there's no jealousy, and that Stitch and Shilo get along and are like brothers. She accepts that, but sometimes asks about sex, which makes me laugh, then she laughs, but the reason I laugh is that prior to the dementia taking hold, when Mom was still alive, E was a completely judgmental prude. One day, I'll have to explain that to anyone reading this. Today is NOT that day. Stitch and myself went to Albertson's to get the ice cream, and I decided to get TWO(2!) for E. When I got in the car, I realized that I left my phone at home, so I drove back home, and Stitch grabbed my phone.  We did the drop-off for E, and stopped at McDonald's to get Shilo an iced coffee and Stitch and myself ordered an Oreo Shamrock McFlurry. Good thing the Shamrock flavor disappears after St. Patrick's day, or I'd really be in trouble! Shilo was sitting on the couch by the time we got home.

We all watched DVR programs, and I kept falling asleep, so at 4:30, Shilo sent me to bed, and I didn't wake up till 9. I figure that now I'll be up all night. I made the leftovers for dinner (no more leftovers, HOORAY!) and we watched "Clarice" from last week on the DVR. Yes, we do DVR most programs. That way, we can watch at our convenience and skip over the commercials. Afterwards, I entered my Tuesday diary, and started work on my Wednesday diary.

Played some video games, cleared my desk as much as possible.  Folded my clean pj's, then watched Jeopardy and then Rachel Maddow. Went to bed just before 4:30 AM

Tuesday March 2 Diary (Facing A Potential Future)

I did not sleep well the night before, so when I got up to pee at about 10AM, Shilo offered to drive himself to PT and take Stitch to work. How could I possibly refuse such a great offer?

I woke up about 1:45PM, which was just in time for her Oncology Surgeon's office to call me and inform me that E's CT scan came back and the cancer in her lung they discovered 6 months ago has not grown any. Between us, I'm not sure if that is good or bad. Her dementia is so bad some days that it's difficult to reason or even talk with her about things, and she could live another 20 years with this cancer if it doesn't grow. Understand that I'm not wishing death on her, it's more that if she is bad with the dementia now, what will it be like in another 5-10-20 years? That's kind of scary.

Also, speaking of E, my niece took her to get her first COVID-19 immunization. She texted me later informing me that within 5 minutes of getting the injection, E asked twice why she had a Band-Aid on her arm. Yes, it really is that bad. I know it's not that she is trying to be obnoxious when she repeats herself over and over again because of the dementia, and I rarely say anything about it, and I try to avoid complaining because again, it's not her fault. It does scare me because she's only 13 years older than me, and that could possibly be my future. My niece (who is 13 years younger than me) and I have discussed the future if that happens to her or me. It's just not a pleasant thought. The advantage (if you can call it that) is that we are actively discussing and making plans in the possibility that it happens.

After the call and while I was texting with my niece, I wrote yesterday's diary. I'd like to think I'm getting better about this, but it's too soon to brag yet. By the time Shilo arrived home from PT at around 3, I was almost finished and we watched a bunch of programs that were on the DVR. About 5:30 I asked him what he wanted to do for dinner, and I gave him the choice of broiled steak, or stir fry. He chose beef and pork stir fry. I tried a different method, and it came out really good. I also served it with rice, and I steamed some broccoli for myself. Shilo is not wild about broccoli, so it always makes me happy to eat broccoli because I don't have to share. 

We watched some more programs, and then when I left to pick up Stitch, Shilo said he was going to bed, so I locked the front door when I left. Stitch and myself had a very interesting conversation about his work. Apparently they've been short because people have been sick and on vacation, and also some people got laid off. Fortunately, Stitch is not one of them. I was really tired, so I went straight to bed when I got home, surprising Shilo because he thought I was going to be up late. I slept like crap though but that's normal for me.

 

Monday March 1 Diary (A Slightly "Different" Version)

"Different," how? Like Joe Friday in "Dragnet" used to say, "Just the fact's ma'am."

 

It's important to note that in order to keep my peace of mind at its best, several years ago, Shilo set my cellphone to "Do Not Disturb" because I had a family member (who has since been cut off) sending me walls of text on a regular basis and it made me reluctant to even look at my phone. That was his answer. Oh, and for the record, the texts were NOT why she was cut off, it was Child #5 's doing, once he saw her effect on me. Child #2 was also instrumental, but that wasn't until October 2019. Anyway, most of my "known" contacts have special ringtones, but any medical office has the same "Doctor, doctor" ringtone, and that woke me at 9:17AM. Please note that I am a chronic insomniac, so I had only had maybe 2 hours of solid sleep. It was the Radiology Department calling to inform me that the CT scan on "E" was "normal" so no need to worry. 

 

I woke up at noon and called "B" because he never returned any of my texts over the weekend.  We made plans for this upcoming weekend, and I'm not going to lie, I was REALLY excited about it. We haven't seen each other (other than the two video calls) since October. It wasn't my intention to hurt Stitch or Shilo's feelings by my outpouring of happiness, but it's been such a LOOOONG time. At about 1PM, showered, drove Stitch to work, and then Shilo gassed up the car, and then I drove 17 miles to Huntington Beach to pay our rent.  Yes, we could mail it, but sometimes it hasn't arrived, so this monthly trek ensures that they receive it. Anyway, we're still sitting in the car, and noticed a man with long hair and a white beard walking out of the office with a dog on a leash, and the Office Manager was with him, they both smiled at us, and then the bearded guy said Shilo's full name. If we weren't paying attention before, that got our attention! He laughed, and said "So, you don't recognize me?" I shook my head no, and he said "It's (his first name)" which immediately put a HUGE smile on my face. He's the guy who owns the building, and the person Shilo and myself met the first time we looked at the apartment. We talked (at a safe distance) for about 10 minutes, then we all went our separate ways.

The drive home was uneventful, but we both agreed that a McDonald's stop was in order. Iced coffee for him, two Oreo Shamrock McFlurries for me. We waited until we got home to do anything with them. We started watching game shows, and "E" called, requesting a beer and ice cream drop. Shilo joined me on the drive, but he wasn't feeling well, so no dinner for him. I ate leftovers, and when it was time, left and picked up Stitch from work.

Where Did February Go?

 I couldn't tell you, but it's March 1, 2021, and it's a Monday, so let's try again.

February Highlights:

I finally saw the Gastroenterologist/Hepatologist in the afternoon on February 22nd. Also of note, Stitch received his first COVID-19 vaccine that morning.

Back to me:

I am NOT going into liver failure this time, and it's not an autoimmune disease but I was told I have a condition known as NAFLD (https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/nonalcoholic-fatty-liver-disease/symptoms-causes/syc-20354567)

Some items of note: Since 2016, I have gone from 225lbs to 188lbs by eating sensibly and not depriving myself of anything.  The
Gastroenterologist/Hepatologist is fully aware of that. He asked me about my carb intake, and I told him I rarely eat bread, but I do like fresh baked bread on occasion, and I LOVE my chocolate. I also explained that the minute I'm told I can't have something, I want it more, so it's a bad idea for me to do that.  He requested that I try to lose 20lbs by the time I see him in August, but he will be happy if I lose 16lbs.

I also scheduled "E" for her first COVID-19 vaccine on March 2 (Tomorrow) and on Tuesday, February 23, I drove her to get her annual mammogram, and her every 6 month CT scan to see how her lungs are doing (She had stage 1 lung cancer surgery done in February 2020)

Shilo's chemo appointment was cancelled and rescheduled at least TWICE in February, and he's still waiting to get it. We (especially me) are not happy about it.

Here's to a happy March!